Some Reason Why I Must

Our ongoing Craniosacral Foundation Training just finished Module 4 on the nervous system this past weekend. We had a beautiful and challenging journey of depth and connection, getting inside our own nervous systems and exploring self-regulation and how to help clients access the healthy expressions of their nervous system.

We have developed some rituals in this group, and one of them is my reading from the book, With Thinking Fingers. This kind and funny little book is an account by Adah Strand Sutherland of the journey with her husband William Garner Sutherland, a man who many consider to be the founding father of Craniosacral Therapy. As a student in osteopathic school in the late 1800’s, a seemingly random and thoroughly radical thought occurred to Sutherland. This thought changed the course of Sutherland’s life – or rather, set him on the course of his life.

His thought – looking at a display of a skull that had been mounted with the bones slightly separated, and at the temporal bone and its beveled surfaces – was that the bone is “beveled, like the gills of a fish, indicating the possibility of articular mobility for a respiratory mechanism.” (With Thinking Fingers, p.13)

This was a radical thought because all the textbooks of the time taught that the bones of the skull or cranium were fixed – immoveable. “How crazy can a fellow’s thinking get? Mobility? In the bones of the skull?” he said, and tried to leave the thought behind him. But he couldn’t.

Sutherland devoted his life to the pursuit of this bony mobility — finding it and much more. His intention was  to prove himself crazy, but he did quite the opposite: It set him firmly on a path that gifted him with perceptions and capacities to help others in need, and gifted us all with the roots of what has become Craniosacral Therapy.

Though initially he set out to prove himself wrong – to prove that the bones of the skull are in fact immobile – his conviction and purpose guided him on, and he became confident in his journey.

This past weekend when I opened With Thinking Fingers to read to the students, I read a description of Adah Sutherland’s expressions of concern for her husband’s well-being as he set out on yet another series of experiments on his own cranium in his endless pursuit of the mobility that was calling him. Adah was worried that if something happened to him during the experiment and he couldn’t help himself, she wouldn’t be able to help him.

In response to her concerns, Sutherland exclaimed:

“I am doing this because there is some reason why I must. It has been so the entire way and this is but one more step. I have been taken care of and I know that protection will continue. Amazing things are opening up. I haven’t been brought this far only to be let down. There is no need for fear or doubt.” (With Thinking Fingers, p. 55)

For me the above quote reminds me that there is a reason why I must keep going, even in this time of uncertainty for the school. Whoever it is that has called me to this work over 20 years ago has no intention of letting me go. I tried for years to go another way, or at least not go fully this way, but to no avail. Whoever it was that called me to the School of Inner Health has a purpose. There is some reason why I must do this. There is something I can feel that course corrects when I attempt to detour from what I am meant to do. Moving towards Denver feels like such a course correction, something that will support the longevity of the school and my capacity to support it. I often use the word “inherited” when I speak of how I came to the School of Inner Health. While not technically true since I did purchase the school from its founder Kathleen Morrow, I often have the feeling of inheriting something – something that I too will bequeath someday.

And the school is not just for me. If it was, it would not be worth it. I’ve always wanted to make a big difference in the world for others. I am so excited by my vision of what the School of Inner Health can become. In this time of global overwhelm and uncertainty, it is normal to have days when you feel crazy planning for the future. With all the threats in the world, with all the natural and man-made changes being forged in the fires of this transformative time, where is the hope?

Who knows if we will be here tomorrow?

Pause.

Who has ever known that?

Is there a historical period when people were certain that they would live another day?

No.

Each day we are alive is a gift, one that is uniquely shaped for our growth.

We have now.

In these zigzagged times, we must all find our inner compass and stay true to the depth of ourselves as much as we can. Inner Health is more important than ever – and as important as always.

Live. Show up. Be real. Love big.

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